A brown recluse spider just crawled across my floor. I want to die right now. It's dead, but oh my god, that's so SICK.

Okay, I don't know what it is with people recently, but I'm NOT the center of the UNIVERSE. SRSLY. Get a fucking life! I'm not the end all of your problems and it's NOT my fault when YOU fuck shit up. Honestly, it's not just socially, it happened at work too.

Carol came in the door in a piss poor mood. I asked her what was wrong. She said 'I'll live'. Now, there's one reason why I despise this phrase. It's not because I'm nosy and simply want to know. It's specifically because when someone says this they seem to think that it's license to be a dick head for the rest of the day because they are upset and didn't get a chance to talk about it. Bitch, I gave you the chance to get it off your chest. Your problem now and don't take that shit out on me.

So I headed for the cones, deciding to make some because we were low, only then does Carol decide to tell me to do it. Again, being a bitch. I can live with it, so I shrug it off and keep making the shit I need to be making. Well, half an hour later Carol decides that the deposit for the last business day is short by fifty bucks. She calls me into the office and proceeds to ask me what happened. I tell her that I counted it out perfectly and she obviously did something wrong. I followed a different pattern and counted it back up a different way, both times it matched up perfectly. She gets more bitchy because I'm basically telling her that she's wrong, and I go back to making waffle cones instead of standing there like a moron.

Ten mins later she walks out of the office looking even more pissed off and wanders over to me while I'm attempting to make a customers shake. She looks me dead in the eyes as I'm placing the damn thing on it's base to blend and says 'We found the money. You're off the hook.'

Okay, first off, shove your attitude. I don't give a fuck what your morning was like if you won't fucking tell me about it. If you want to deal with it then shove the bitchiness back up your ass, maybe it will create diamonds.

Secondly, I did nothing wrong. NOTHING. I followed your faulty fucking procedure to the letter this morning and even gave myself extra time to do it in so you can take all your pretty phrasing and go fuck yourself with it. I WILL NOT STAND FOR ANYMORE BULLSHIT.

You fuck up and THIS is how I get treated for doing the correct damn thing?!?!?! Fuck you in the ear. I'm getting a new damn job.

I was so pissed off that I detached. Completely. I've been doing that a lot recently, it seems. But it's not worth sticking around. I called Yuna as soon as I could and bitched about it to her. I got home and bitched about it to my mom. Ellen was like 'Up her's then' and told me to find a new job.

I'm going to go look and see who's hiring. I've had enough management experience now that I could likely fit into something better then I've got now.

As long as I can get something with a more regular schedule and better pay, I'll be fine with that.

As long as I don't have to deal with being blamed for stealing when I didn't do anything wrong, I'll be okay with that as well.

My favorite statement about this whole thing was actually from Ellen: "Stealing's illegal, but if they fire you for it when you didn't, then you can sue for slander. :D " Yes, this is where I get it from.

After taking an Essay Exam in my last class of the day, I decided to go the the office and apply for graduation properly. It took a few moments, and apparently I'm over qualified with all the credits I've taken, but I'm ready to go through in December.

As much as I knew it was coming, it made me feel LOADS better about being stuck here. I don't like this shit, but knowing officially that there's a light at the end of this godforsaken tunnel of hell is great motivation. Suddenly my homework seems so much easier.

The rest of my week looks alright, and I've got to remember to check my email in case they send me a reply soon. Oh, yeah, what am I talking about?

Last night I was talking to teh Yunie online and found out that I could be getting an internship in China in January right after my graduation. If they need people that badly, then I'd be glad to go out there asap, provided that they pay for my plane ticket. And it's not as crazy as it sounds. Our friend was just flown to Korea to teach children almost directly after being with us in China, so for that part of the world, it's obviously very easy to manage. The whole concept left me shaking my head at all the details for that job which I would need to know as well as how I would end up in the right sector of Shanghai, but it can all be worked out in time. For now, I'm just worrying about if they are willing to fly me over to fulfill this job. If they are then I might be in China a helluva lot earlier! ^_________________________________________________^!~♥

I'll keep you all posted as for what's going on with that.


But Xi♥Feng, what will happen if they don't give you the job? Oh, that's easy. Then I stick to my original plan of going to massage school and eventually make it over there on my own money, but until then, I'm going to see what can be done about taking the trip sooner. After all, if it hadn't been for me not graduating, I wouldn't of even come home. I loved it there and staying there would have been easy for me.


Now, I should head off and do some homework.

Oh, and this is Day THREE of no chocolate. I got sick of the addiction headaches. While I'm not 100% positive of that being the cause, that is the only thing I can think of it being. I don't know how bad the possible withdrawal is going to be, or if it's over yet, but if I get bitchy and don't know why then I'm sorry. This is something I've got to do for me. I need to get over this stupid form of hiding my unhappiness and I'm not going back to it.

Dear friends. I can no longer talk on my phone before 9pm. My parents recieved a phone bill for $150 and while that is my problem to deal with, this is also my phone and I'll need you all to NOT call me before 9. X.X

I can not do any of the following things with my phone:
-email
-web browsing
-TEXTING
-calls before 9
-sending pictures

AGAIN PLEASE DO NOT CALL ME BEFORE 9.

ALSO, I can't talk to China (YUNIE) anymore on my cell or I'll lose it.

Thanks~

Xi&eharts;Feng

Hello everyone. I'll be unavailable online until Sunday night or Monday afternoon. I'm not sure which day I'll be back to school and thus back on the internet. I'll post again when I come back.

Wish me luck for the funeral on Saturday. I don't know how it's going to go. ~♥

I'm alive and back at school. One more semester until I graduate. Just one. I can't wait to be out of here...


...I really miss China.

2007-2-18: divinities
My application: here.
I was stamped:
~♥: -Hera
~♥: -Ixchel

I randomly decided to get lost on Wikipedia again tonight.

These are the results: ( On Gypsies, Gipsies, and Roma people; Random facts I found interesting. )

I used to think that Gypsy refered to these people, but I'm learning more about that concept, so it seems. The Roma people apparently origionated from some place in south asia, but it didn't talk about where. If I find out more I'll post more.

In my never ending quest to learn how to bellydance I've joined a bunch of communities on LJ, and through my newbies comm I've found this: A how to page of video's from a woman's class. It's really informal, but it's better than nothing. I'll be learning these and hopefully finishing one of the class choreography videos before the summer to help me get into better shape. ^_^

I also bought two dance videos with high cardio to work out with. One is Crunch-Cardio Dance Blast and the other is Dance it off! by Jennifer Galardi. I'm thinking these will help me as well. ^_^

On top of that I'll be eating light breakfasts during morning classes with lots of water and dinner upon returning home after class at nights. So I'm only eating twice a day and mostly healthy foods and lots of veggies. I'll also be getting subway once a week, but the weekends will be more splurging. Thus is my plan.

Above all else, only eat when hungry. This is my law.

I've bought plum and pomagranit juice this time around, so less sugar and both 100% juice. I'll be adding water 'cause I like it that way, and I'll be drinking it while I study to help both the diet and the studying. ^_^

It sounds like I'll make it. Just here's to trying~

Dear GVSU,

PLease stop over pricing your bullshit parking permits. They honestly don't do anything but give you extra income that you overpay your higher officals with. Beyond that this whole ploing the parking lot thing isn't useful when you incase students in the snow you are trying to plow. Good call, smooth. And then later when you don't have extra people on the day that school is open again so that you can help the people you know will need it because of the snow you plowed the day before, it really makes me believe in you, GV. I know that someplace on this campus some fool is getting paid to stand around and do nothing. I know there are extra shovels that are not being used and I know it wouldn't hurt for someone to go out there in the winter coats that GV provides for it's staff and help the students get their cars out of the pile ups you created becuase you didn't alert the students to when the plows show up.

So, GVSU, thank you for sucking ass yet again this year. I really am glad to be on this campus and know that no matter what happens there are still just money hungry, handsy little bastards in the head office.

I'm so pissed off right now.

I might be going to meijers tomorrow. I'm thinking about picking up a belly dancing video for beginners. I would like to tone my body to move like this!!! It's beautiful and it's tough. [Not to mention I want to be that thin and that healthy!!]. It just draws me in. I dont know if it's the costuming, the dancing, or the mix of both, but I love it.

Start this one at 1:32 o.0!!! It's SO beautiful GAH!!!

I'm thinking of asking one of my friend's mothers to teach me becuase she knows how. She's Egyptian and apparently her parents had her get lessons when she was a younger woman. I want to learn and I'm hoping she will teach me for a small fee. ^^;;;

Hey, check this out!!:

Guys can do it too. And the women just eat it up!

This one is more like 'traditional' belly dancing, I think.

Nathalie @ club pearl [They have clubs for this!!], amazing.

Taletha - American Bellydancer?? She's not stick thin, but she's really good.

And finally, a tutorial, for those of you who would join me in learning this ish!!! And Tutorial 2!!! I will start learning tomorrow, if I get through my studying, or go crazy. Which ever comes first. ^^;

I'm so glad to be getting out of work at 6:30 tonight. I can't wait to get some of this impending homework done!!! I already have two assignments for next week, and a paper due the 9th of next month. GAH. At this rate it will feel REALLY good to finally get out of work and have the afternoons to relax, hang out, and do homework.

Not to mention starting research on my book. ^^;

Other than that, I've got to go to another class in an hour. I'm not hungry and I don't know what else to do other than putz around online. I'M BORED!!!

If I could I would skip class and go home and nap until work at 2:30. No such luck. x.x

Instead I think I'll start on my paper due Thursday on my business concept. ^_^ Wish me luck. It'll be fun. lol.

Apparently, my boss isn't very happy with my work over the last semester. I recieved this email:

"Steph,

After re-evaluating the experiences that I have had with you and the opening
shift, I believe that it would be best to take you off of that shift. I have set
down with you several times over the year about your sense of urgency in getting
the LS open on time and I still believe that it would be best to take you off of
that shift until I can see a change. I need for the LS to be FULLY opened by
7:30am and I feel that I am always having to help out or that there are things
that are not getting done in time, when on other days I do not have to help out
because things are gettting done on time. I have spoken with Meghan and I have
now put her on the M,W,F opening shifts and I have put you on the 7:00/7:30?
shift. I know that you will have to leave earlier then 11/11:30am due to your
classes downtown and that is fine. Meghan will be staying later on those days to
make sure that we are covered. I will still have you place orders for Pepsi, but
from now on I would like for you to ONLY place the orders in the backroom. I do
not think that it looks right to the customer to see an employee on the phone.


Thank you

Lisa"

I didn't respond. I think I'm too angry right about now. I've really done my best for these people. I've stuck my neck out more than once to do the right thing in many situations. I've followed all directions, and I've even talked with my manager about it. I've delt with co-workers who don't want to do work, I've delt with stupid write-ups, and I've delt with retarded customers. I've been there more than once for Lisa when she needed me as a student worker and as a student manager. However, all my loyalty and efforts are obviously not enough.

If I wasn't seriously thinking about quitting before I definetly am now.

I went home over break and talked things over with my mom. I had gotten in trouble for having people there and for talking with individuals whom had been moved from our department and/or people who worked with us on a daily basis and were there to help me control my anger beucase it had been a rough night. I got into trouble becuase the girl I worked with had a grudge against me and instead of talking to me about it she just wanted me to get into trouble. So I've been written up for that which was a load of bullshit.

Now this, a blatent cut in hours becuase Lisa wants me to take care of stuff for her, but not be there to open becuase she thinks I'm too slow. Howeve, instead of just telling me this and asking me to pick it up or change shifts, she's going behind my back and talking with another student manager about me; to replace me. So I'm not only screwed out of hours becuase they won't move me around, but I'm also basically being told that I'm not good enough to open when I do everything that's required of me and I don't skip details.

Once the bus starts moving again I'm going downtown and getting an application for the coffee house down there. Fuck this. I will not let myself be walked all over anymore. If I can get a job there I'm quitting here at the campus Lobby Shop. I won't take this anymore.

I got a new camera for christmas so I can take it with me to china. I also got a passport cover and an iDog, which is named Ralph. He's very cute~

I'm up at GVSU now so a few of you will have missed me at the NYE party that Greg and Nick put on. I'm not sorry I missed it, but I do hope everyone had a good time.

I ended up at the Ni's house, which rocked the casbah. We ate good food, met cool people, and got to shoot off fireworks! It was a lot of fun.

That's about it. I hope everyone had a good time and I hope the hangovers aren't too bad ^_^~

I am taking a break before I go crazy. I think I will fail my next final, and I've resgined to that fact. However, that doesn't mean I'm done for the day. It means I'm going to go study Acc/Tax for the rest of my available time today.

My Tax prof was going to take us all out for drinks, and becuase he was going, I was going to go there too. But I found out that he's not going and that he's simply sending money, so I'll wait and go when I'll feel comfortable enough around the people I'm with to actually have a good time, aka, with the gullwings. I wouldn't have minded a free drink, but if he wasn't going to be there than I don't think I would have had that much fun. I liked hanging out and round my prof. He was cool. ^^ And not a vampire, unlike a lot of other teachers I've had, where I'm not worried about him sucking my blood becuase he has a stick that far up his ass that he has to be dead. No, this prof is actually cool and basically told me that I can't change my grade from a solid C no matter how badly I do on the final, which means I'm passing TAX of my own ability. So I'm happy about that.

I've decided that International Finance doesn't make a difference today, and that I have given up caring. I'll do my best on the final, and that's that.

Anything else can kiss my ass too. I'm so tired of trying in school. I'm so sick of all of this. I want to go study something I enjoy, like that paper I helped Wakka put together last night. I can stay up all night and study that without a problem. ^^ I would enjoy writing a book on the subject of nonverbal communication and healing touch, but I can't seem to wrap my head around Taxation or Finance of International Businesses. x.x The whole concept kind of makes me want to quit school. I am so done with all these boring subjects that I don't need right now.

BLAH.

I'm going to stop bitching now and get my ass to studying for the Tax final I've got coming up.

~Leave me some love?~

Not a whole lot to write about. I'm just relaxing at about nine pm and have decided to make myself some tea.

I'm sure I'll post something more interesting next time...

I took the Art of Seduction Quiz, and apparently I'm a ( charlatan. )

Edit: I also decided to fill this out. ( It's the three things meme. )

Testing!

123, 73271/\/g!!! 12 20/\/\30/\/3 0u7 7h3r3!?!?!

well, shit. I need a new layout. x.x;